We have reached the middle point of the year. So much has been going on in my life that the time has just flown by. I haven't been as productive as I had hoped but I am allowing myself the grace to accept that I am doing my best during a difficult time. For me, June is a check in point - where I am versus where I want to be? Where am I feeling joy and fulfillment? Where am I lacking? And, more importantly, how can I reframe that?
Housekeeping came up as an area that gives me little joy. I can bask in the glow of a spotless house but, as anyone with kids or pets knows, that will not last long. Also, given my physical disabilities, everything takes me longer to accomplish than I would like. But, deeper than that, I realized that I was associating keeping a home with being a stay-at-home mom, a title, which for me, has its own story attached to it. And, of course, my Aquarian nature bristles at any thought of conformity, be they societal or gender norms.
So, how do I reframe my views? By turning the mundane back into the magical. When I cleanse and clear my space, physically and energetically, I make room for more abundance and joy to enter. I chose to see it as an act of love, self-love, and love for those I share my home with. I deserve to live in a clean, tidy space filled with things that make me smile. I am creating a safe, healthy home for my family to live and thrive. I find joy in making my own natural cleaning and beauty products - chemical free and imbibed with magic. For instance, my all-purpose cleaning spray consists of the strained liquid from my simmer pots and white vinegar. Each spray imparts the blessings of abundance and vitality. My moisturizer contains prized essential oils like Frankincense; anointed with oils and adorned with crystals, I am my own sacred space.
Conversely, as I step more into myself, I have lost things and people that I did not expect to. It's hard to find and make new friends as an adult. I am normally an introvert, and the pandemic didn't help. Still, every day I am trying to step out of my comfort zone and create my own community. One of my goals is to establish a local women's circle and expand my in-person healing services. I have met so many wonderful people online who are scattered all over the world that I can share my passions and curiosity with. But there is still a need for more personal connections, physical proximity, and intimacies, like sharing a meal or even a cup of tea.
I have recently dived back into my art and creative writing. For a while I let my creativity take a back burner. I can't even tell you why. I recently participated in an online version of The Artist's Way (and will be doing so again starting the middle of this month). I originally went through the course about 20 years ago on my own. Some of the practices stayed with me, like morning pages, while others fell away. Re-reading it at this stage of life, I found so many nuggets of truth and inspiration. Maybe because I am closer in age now to Julia Cameron when she wrote this book. As I inch ever closer to 50, the idea that it's never too late to start something new hits harder.
I am learning to let go of expectations and strict adherence to plans. This is difficult for me given my anxiety issues, but it has helped me deal with speed bumps along the way, and there have been more than a few this year. But as I continue to surrender and trust in the Divine, I open myself up to new possibilities and clearer connection with my Guides and Angels. Every day I re-devote myself to my spiritual practice and am thankful for the strength and clarity that I have gained from it.
I have so many plans for the months ahead. I will be at Cottage Row which is a local fair on June 17. I have a booth there where I offer mini healing sessions and sell energy infused handcrafted items. My Substack page is up and running. Most of my poetry is there and is free for all to read (https://toniannastuto.substack.com/publish/home?utm_source=menu). I have started to add reflections there as well. I plan on also making it a home for my short fiction. I have been working on some art projects that include a line of pagan themed stationary and handmade journals. I have so many ideas for potential workshops and group programs floating around as well (more on those will be announced shortly).
I want to thank all of you who have been accompanying me on this journey. I am grateful for your support. I would also love to hear where you are and what you need right now to feel more grounded and supported. Please feel free to comment. I look forward to hearing from you. As always, I am sending love and blessings. Make sure to take some time out this season to play in the sun!